Don't Mess With Old Ladies

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman:I can't do that.
Officer:Why not?
Older Woman:I stole this car.
Officer:Stole it?
Older Woman:Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer:You what?
Older Woman:His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for
back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2:Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman:Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2:One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered
the owner.
Older Woman:Murdered the owner?
Officer 2:Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2:Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman:Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.
Officer 2:One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to
the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2:Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding,too.

Men are better friends!

Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the very next morning, she
tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment over night.
The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriend's and none of them confirm that.

Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So he tells his wife the very
next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment over night. So the
wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirm that he stayed at their
apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there
with them!