Nice limericks

Do u know wats a limerick?

A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

Limericks are meant to be funny. They often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the PUNCH LINE or "heart of the joke." As you work with limericks, remember to have pun, I mean FUN!Have fun with some of the limericks i wanna share wit u guys....


There once was an old man of Esser,
Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser,
It at last grew so small
He knew nothing at all,
And now he's a college professor.

A flea and a fly in a flue
Were caught, so what could they do?
Said the fly, "Let us flee."
"Let us fly," said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

There once was a lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died,
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
and made cider inside her inside.

There was a young lady one fall
Who wore a newspaper dress to a ball.
The dress caught fire
And burned her entire
Front page, sporting section and all.

There was an old man of Philly,
Who was hooked on the movie Free Willy.
He quit his job at the jail,
for a dolphin and whale,
And so was the life of Wee Willy.

A mouse in her room woke Miss Doud
Who was frightened and screamed very loud
Then a happy thought hit her
To scare off the critter
She sat up in bed and just meowed

There once was a old man from Norway -
who cussed as he sat in a doorway-
the door smacked him flat-
and he yelled "what was that"?
that disgruntled old man from Norway!

There was a fat turkey named Sam,
Who gobbled whenever he ran.
He came out of the bush,
Presenting his tush,
And was shot up the arse by a man.

There once was a kid named Darren
Who's room was surprisingly barren
He had no toys
Like all normal boys
But he did believe in sharing

There was a young lady from Niger,
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger.
After the ride
She was inside,
And the smile was on the face of the tiger.

There once was a guy named Matt
Who had an overly large cat
When it chased a mouse
It shook the whole house
So Matt got rid of the cat.

There once was a consumer named Phil
Who really wanted to kill
A sly young vendor
Who mad him a big spender
And gave him a very large bill.
There once was a poet named Dan,
Who's poetry never would scan.
When told this was so,
He said, "Yes, I know"
"It's because I try to put every possible syllable into the very last line that I can" !!

There was an announcer named Herschel
Whose habits became controversial,
Because when out wooing
Whatever he was doing
At ten he'd insert his commercial.

There was an old lady from Clyde
Who ate forty apples and died
The apples fermented
inside the lamented
and made cider inside her insides

There once was a lady named Perkins
Who simply doted on Gherkins
They were so nice
She ate too much spice
and pickled her internal workin's

I've been studying all night and I'm tired,
But I can't sleep because I'm so wired.
So I'll play on the net
'Stead of going to bed,
And my tests will seem a quagmire.

There once was a girl whose name was Jen.
Whose room was as messy as a pig pen
It got so cluttered
She shook and muttered
Oh, but everything blends, AMEN.
Thanks for helping me do my 5th grade homework!!!!

There was a young maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think---
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.

Muahahahahahahaahhaah!!!!!