God is Hope

Here is a poem by a very talented young lady, Niki. This is a great poem that reveals a struggle within and the victory over it through God.

God is Hope

02-11-01

Day after day,
I hold myself.
Closer and tighter,
Crying to the sound of silence.
"I want to be better. I want to be better!"
Looking around and seeing not even a
Single soul surrounding me.
It tears my heart to go through this,
With your presence not known to me.
It is of an existence,
But not of feeling.
Night after night,
I?d fold my hands, close my eyes,
And pray that I?d die happy,
And knowing you were crying tears,
So that I wouldn't have to feel an inch of sadness!
Instead,
I walk away,
Not knowing?
And not realizing that I am at fault,
Not you!
Week after week,
I?d hold out my arms, stand before you,
And cry to the emptiness that tears me to shreds.
I would do anything to once again,
Feel your love wipe away my tears.
I long to feel your Holy Spirit live inside my heart.
But all I feel is my pain torturing my mind.
I might not be dead in the flesh,
But I feel dead to you.
I've done everything in my power to try and get an old me,
But you refreshed me back.
My mind stops in confusion.
What am I doing wrong?
I've submitted my body to you,
In hopes of a recovery!
Why do I still feel alone?
I might have been stumped,
But I haven't yet given up hope!
You'd never give up on me?
So I shall not dare,
Give up on you!
Then,
When I woke up,
I felt happier!
My heart smiled and I could feel your presence!
Through this whole situation,
It felt as if you were hiding.
Come to find out,
It was I!
I still don't know exactly what I went through,
Or how!
But I do know this much.
You were always there,
Feeling my pain.
And reaching out your hand,
For me to hold it tight?
Feeling your love and Holiness run through me!
I will never forget this,
Nor will I ever give up hope!
Because hope never gave up on me!

.niki.