Quest for quietness
Quest for quietness
By RUTH LIEW
In our busyness, we forget to be still and take stock of what is going on in our lives. Day in and day out, we keep ourselves occupied with all kinds of activities. We live in a society that believes that keeping busy is a sign of success. Our daily lives are packed with activities and all kinds of noise.
Many people are stressed out in their daily lives. They are unable to gain composure. Anxiety rises when they try to be tranquil. They get worried when there is silence. They need to be in a room that is filled with sounds from all directions. They chatter away without thinking much about what they are saying.
Most adults get anxious when it gets too quiet. Joggers wear headphones and listen to music as they exercise in the mornings. Some restaurants have television sets mounted in every corner. We carry our mobile phones wherever we go.
The average Malaysian child lives in a noisy home environment, with sounds blaring from the television, radio, computer, telephone, mobile phone, washing machine, blender, battery-operated toys and traffic. They rush through the day with a hectic schedule. There is hardly time for stillness and quietness.
Young children like a quiet hideaway place. Sometimes this place is in a discarded box or a space under the stairs or a wardrobe. Some children crawl under the bed or the dining table and imagine they are in another, faraway place.
When they were much younger, my girls used to make a tent with their bed sheets draped over four chairs. These days, they just hang a small sign outside their bedroom doors that says “Keep out”. Children just want to have some time alone so that they can be themselves.
Children need time to take a breather from the demands that are placed upon them. These time-outs can help children get a perspective of how things work.
In early childhood, there are many things that can confuse children. Yet, they are forced to keep up with the pace adults have set for them. They are expected to do what adults say, whether they are ready or not.
We tend to think children only need large spaces to run and play in. We assume that there is hardly any quiet moment with energetic children. Just because they are always up and about does not mean that they do not like stillness and tranquillity. Even the noisiest child will stop and be quiet when he spots a baby sleeping soundly. It is important that children learn to enjoy creating silence on their own.
Most parents tend to force their children to be quiet and punish them for disobedience. This is not the kind of silence suggested here. Being silent means exercising self-control and cooperating with others to create peace.
When a child is unruly and loud, sending him for a time-out will help him to stop behaving in such a manner. Being in a quiet place alone is positive for both child and parent. The child is not forcibly sent to stay alone in a corner of the room. The child goes to the quiet place for some solitary moments willingly and happily.
Doing nothing is a vital component in helping to build children’s imagination and to feed their creativity. Children are often caught in stressful learning situations. They are shuttled to one class or another. They are never free to do their “own thing”. Many achievements children succeed on their own go unnoticed by adults.
When children are given free time, they tend to achieve more because they are not stressed by demands. I remember watching a precocious three-year-old who seemed a little “lost” in her nursery school. While the other children were in their respective classrooms, she would lie down on a large cushion and perform her own soliloquies.
She would say, “I don’t know why I don’t have any friends. I like them but they don’t like me. What shall I do?” After uttering those words, she got up and went to meet her peers in the next room. She had worked it all out by herself.
Children discover their inner selves when they retreat from the hustle and bustle of daily life. We are so bent on making them smart in all aspects but neglect their spiritual development. Some parents feel that religious lessons suffice in helping children to become spiritually aware. The child cannot learn spirituality just by listening to stories and singing songs of praise. He needs to experience inner peace to reach his spiritual self.
According to E.M. Standing, “Silence predisposes the soul for certain inner experiences.” If the child is given the opportunity to experience the peace of stillness, he will know that silence and keeping still do not come about easily. He has to work at it and learn to appreciate it. With much practice, children eventually learn how to treasure having some quiet time. They will grow up to be peaceful and secure adults who can co-exist with others without threats and ill-feelings.
The whole family must support one another in this quest for the peace of stillness. Parents should allow their children time to spend in their quiet corner.
Find somewhere in your home where it is safe. Create this place where your child can feel completely in control and at peace. You may want to allocate certain times of the day as TV-free or radio-free moments. Mobile phones and house phones should be switched off so that the whole family can be quiet together for a short moment.
If you have any queries on bringing up infant, toddler or teenager, write in with your name, address and phone number to:
Ruth Liew
StarTwo
Star Publications (M) Bhd
Menara Star
15 Jalan 16/11
46350 Petaling Jaya
Tel: 03-79671388
Fax: 03-79554366
E-mail: ruthliew@hotmail.com
By RUTH LIEW
In our busyness, we forget to be still and take stock of what is going on in our lives. Day in and day out, we keep ourselves occupied with all kinds of activities. We live in a society that believes that keeping busy is a sign of success. Our daily lives are packed with activities and all kinds of noise.
Many people are stressed out in their daily lives. They are unable to gain composure. Anxiety rises when they try to be tranquil. They get worried when there is silence. They need to be in a room that is filled with sounds from all directions. They chatter away without thinking much about what they are saying.
Most adults get anxious when it gets too quiet. Joggers wear headphones and listen to music as they exercise in the mornings. Some restaurants have television sets mounted in every corner. We carry our mobile phones wherever we go.
The average Malaysian child lives in a noisy home environment, with sounds blaring from the television, radio, computer, telephone, mobile phone, washing machine, blender, battery-operated toys and traffic. They rush through the day with a hectic schedule. There is hardly time for stillness and quietness.
Young children like a quiet hideaway place. Sometimes this place is in a discarded box or a space under the stairs or a wardrobe. Some children crawl under the bed or the dining table and imagine they are in another, faraway place.
When they were much younger, my girls used to make a tent with their bed sheets draped over four chairs. These days, they just hang a small sign outside their bedroom doors that says “Keep out”. Children just want to have some time alone so that they can be themselves.
Children need time to take a breather from the demands that are placed upon them. These time-outs can help children get a perspective of how things work.
In early childhood, there are many things that can confuse children. Yet, they are forced to keep up with the pace adults have set for them. They are expected to do what adults say, whether they are ready or not.
We tend to think children only need large spaces to run and play in. We assume that there is hardly any quiet moment with energetic children. Just because they are always up and about does not mean that they do not like stillness and tranquillity. Even the noisiest child will stop and be quiet when he spots a baby sleeping soundly. It is important that children learn to enjoy creating silence on their own.
Most parents tend to force their children to be quiet and punish them for disobedience. This is not the kind of silence suggested here. Being silent means exercising self-control and cooperating with others to create peace.
When a child is unruly and loud, sending him for a time-out will help him to stop behaving in such a manner. Being in a quiet place alone is positive for both child and parent. The child is not forcibly sent to stay alone in a corner of the room. The child goes to the quiet place for some solitary moments willingly and happily.
Doing nothing is a vital component in helping to build children’s imagination and to feed their creativity. Children are often caught in stressful learning situations. They are shuttled to one class or another. They are never free to do their “own thing”. Many achievements children succeed on their own go unnoticed by adults.
When children are given free time, they tend to achieve more because they are not stressed by demands. I remember watching a precocious three-year-old who seemed a little “lost” in her nursery school. While the other children were in their respective classrooms, she would lie down on a large cushion and perform her own soliloquies.
She would say, “I don’t know why I don’t have any friends. I like them but they don’t like me. What shall I do?” After uttering those words, she got up and went to meet her peers in the next room. She had worked it all out by herself.
Children discover their inner selves when they retreat from the hustle and bustle of daily life. We are so bent on making them smart in all aspects but neglect their spiritual development. Some parents feel that religious lessons suffice in helping children to become spiritually aware. The child cannot learn spirituality just by listening to stories and singing songs of praise. He needs to experience inner peace to reach his spiritual self.
According to E.M. Standing, “Silence predisposes the soul for certain inner experiences.” If the child is given the opportunity to experience the peace of stillness, he will know that silence and keeping still do not come about easily. He has to work at it and learn to appreciate it. With much practice, children eventually learn how to treasure having some quiet time. They will grow up to be peaceful and secure adults who can co-exist with others without threats and ill-feelings.
The whole family must support one another in this quest for the peace of stillness. Parents should allow their children time to spend in their quiet corner.
Find somewhere in your home where it is safe. Create this place where your child can feel completely in control and at peace. You may want to allocate certain times of the day as TV-free or radio-free moments. Mobile phones and house phones should be switched off so that the whole family can be quiet together for a short moment.
If you have any queries on bringing up infant, toddler or teenager, write in with your name, address and phone number to:
Ruth Liew
StarTwo
Star Publications (M) Bhd
Menara Star
15 Jalan 16/11
46350 Petaling Jaya
Tel: 03-79671388
Fax: 03-79554366
E-mail: ruthliew@hotmail.com
posted by Petite Queen @ 7:42 PM
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